Its Easter long weekend and i find myself in a struggle to stay in the moment, to not let my mind drift to far into thinking about the future that has not yet come.
It’s hard to stay focused on what my daily dreams are and where i wish they would lead me, i find it to be a unfathomable effort on a daily basis just to continue doing what i do. I cannot help but get discouraged from the immense feeling of future failure waiting for me around every turn, i’m always out of my depth learning and living with my beautiful wife and our four foster kids that we know not what or if what we are doing is ever correct but we make it through everyday with just enough spice left to see the sun shine on us tomorrow.
I often feel pressure to do better, to be better but as the same could apply to one of status of Al Capone, for Al was no doubt in his eyes and ears being the best he could be with where he came from and what tools he had, To most he was a uncontrollable thug on a quest for blood and money, to him possibly he would awake with the same desires as you and me, the desire to do great things, a desire to show the non-believers who we were and what we were capable of in some cases for good and evil.
And in thinking that way i will sleep with an easy mind and heart and know that tomorrow when i wake i will awake with great intentions to be my very best with the tools i have and improve the circumstances that surround me.