Daily Frustration

Today was a hard day, 6 months ago it would of been a great day, you see my wife and i have kids, wow don’t most people, but these kids are kids that we didn’t know 13 months ago, they are our foster kids.
It has been challenging in so many areas, as other parents of ‘bio’ kids (this is a term foster parents throw around quite a bit) tell us that their kids do this and you should try that, The thing is, most people want to offer advice, which is highly appreciated more often then not, occasionally you get the ‘know it all’s’ that always can do it better,and there kids are so well developed, i seem to bump into them too often in my travels. We have all the usual problems i guess and also a few extra’s included for no extra charge, many factors and behaviours can stem from so many known and unknown sources that it is literally a guessing game of what these kids are feeling and why at different times. Trauma and the impact it has on young lives that eventually turn into adults is staggering to say the least, I see what manifest’s through these kids and it saddens me to think what they have seen, heard and felt, physically and emotionally. Sometimes i think, What would i feel if this happened when i was 10 or 7 years old, who the fuck would i be now, it’s a scary thought that for me didn’t happen but with more and more kids experiencing this, thanks to harmless additions to peoples happy lives are drugs, alcohol, mental illness and what other causes may present.
And still me knowing all these issues and imagining the life these kids use to have and doing my very best everyday to provide not just a safe and stable environment but i want them to thrive and see that regardless how you start your life, that does not define who you are and one day they can have a positive and impactfull life that they can encourage their children to strive for a decent life one day. I see things in these kids that is rare and it is a need to survive that sits deep in us all, but when you don’t know when your next meal is(imagine that feeling) you develop life skills that are not taught, they are primal living coping mechanisms that popular teenage kids from a nice modest family in a nice modest school can never imagine even existed, and when we can adapt and channel their energies and hardships into the right environment, well i know they will be some people that i want to follow when life doesn’t always give you roses.

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