Today I had the privilege to attended my children’s first ever awards day, not because I’ve been too busy all other years simply that all other years we really haven’t had any kids to go see. This year we have 4 foster children and three of them attend primary school. In theory i guess giving out awards to kids that have worked hard to be good in school and pay attention, do all their work, or play sport well, or possibly a musical instrument, maybe they tick a few more boxes than the majority of students and strive a little harder, so in-turn they then shall receive the accolades (an award or privilege granted as a special honour or as an acknowledgement of merit) no doubt.
And for some reason I had a churning, an uneasy feeling, a frustration deep in my gut, an almighty realization that we as humans are not learning how to get the most out of one and other, has no one read any information on how to motivate and drive people and or kids to a positive outcome, i guess not too many.
If i was a little more ignorant and a little less living with traumatized children from difficult beginnings I could have almost not seen the true going on’s of a suburban public school handing out only 3 or 4 awards per class, this means that for every positive message we send to our little winners holding the piece of paper with no real merit ( outstanding achievement in all areas...) which was awarded to a kindergarten student which undoubtedly was well behaved and a asset to the class as most kindie kids are, but what a kick in the bits for say the other 25 or so kids in that same class going about their same business, they no less will have to turn up with a little more hunger in their eyes, get a little bit more ego about them, a little bit get what’s mine, because they turn up just the same, but they simply are not achieving in all areas and so it begins. We are dividing them at the age of 5. Where is the team work like everyone tell’s us we should have, fuck the team, these kids have merit badgers and achievement awards in their sights.
It is painfully obvious even to my 10 year old foster child the cruel dynamics of the school and for that matter most schools in my area of thinking, the popular kids and the sporty kids and sometimes the smart kids all get a look in at the beautiful feeling of success even at primary school age, where is it even really positively practice to establish a hierarchy between the children?
But for the kids that are not wonderfully adjusting to the factory of the school system don’t worry that its a real possibility our kids have seen their own beaten down mother being stabbed in yet another drunken domesticated drugged up violent setting from the loving de-facto.
And while some kids are home safe and sound enjoying the chocolate milk and cuddles planning their nest little merit award that will inflate their and their parents importance once more. Flip the coin and you can imagine tomorrow that their are kids like mine that have seen and been in the domestic violence line far to many times,
and we all pretend we are all playing the same game, but what i seen today at a good old generic awards day that we are far from all plaiyng the same game.